waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
