I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
