i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
