i permit you to call me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
