yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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