Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
