I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
