The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
