it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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