I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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