Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
