She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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