I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
