I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
