its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
