I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she told me i tasted like america
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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