Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
