they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
