you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How does it feel to date your dad?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
