..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
