So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We left the knife in your bed.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
