Soap is not a condiment
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
