dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
