By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
