He kissed a someone with a penis
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
