I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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