just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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