wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
