I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
