Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
