I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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