I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
