Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
