Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The air taste purple.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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