oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I didn't notice because vodka
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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