Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
