found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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