I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
