so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i dont even know how to be here
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
