i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
