so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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