i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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