Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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