I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
