so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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