I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
