I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Randomize
