He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
