thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
