Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
